Art Growth and Thoughts

For the last few months I've been feeling pretty stuck in how I draw. Haven't really felt like I've grown at all in years, tbh, and I'm just kind of lost as to what to do. Not to mention the fact I can't seem to get the energy to work on much completed art anymore, or be happy with any of it. It's just...it feels like bullshit some days, and I know it isn't, drawing is one of the most important things to me (even if I bitch and moan about it, but I do that to everything I love). 

I think it has to be because I haven't really grown as an artist in years, or that's how it feels like to me. I remember being told years ago by a friend or two that they were surprised at how fast I was picking up things and growing, but now? It doesn't feel like I've grown at all since switching to a lineless style (and even then that felt more like regression since I only switched to lineless so I wouldn't have to line). I just, I dunno, I as I've stated a few times already, I feel stuck.

I've stared hunting down tutorials to help with all this, and I'm working on trying to find my own style that is cute and isn't so...how it is now. I got an idea of where I want to go, but it's gunna be confusing and hard to get there, since I've gotta work out of some bad habits I've gotten myself into to. Like bodies for instance: flipper hands and feet are what I tend to do quite a bit, and it's because I get so frustrated every time I make hands that it's always easier to just do that.

I keep doing that, trying to take the easy way out of doing things in art, just because of how frustrated I get at myself. Because I can't do simple things that all my friends can do all the time, that I just sit and wallow in my shit art and wow, now that I'm typing this out, I think I'm working out as to why I do some of the shitty art I do. My own stupid jealousy and feelings of inadequacy are probs why I keep only doing shitty art, since I feel like that's the best I can do when I compare myself to others. That's the other bad habit I need to try and get out of, I have to learn not to compare myself. We all grow at different speeds and some of us to excel in certain things that others can't, and that it's all okay. I have to keep reminding myself that it's okay I'm not at the same level as all my friends and group mates. I've only been drawing seriously for a few years, and a lot of them have been drawing most of their lives, it makes sense that we're all at different levels. And that's okay.

Just, I don't know though. I need to keep reminding myself it's totally okay to be a little slow in growing, I've been like that in everything. Comparing myself is something I've always done, not with just art, but everything, and it's something I need to stop. Yes, comparing yourself can be good at times, but my mind is a toxic cesspool, so comparisons aren't ever good then. 

Just, yeah, sorry for rambling folks, and sorry for all the statuses. I'm just trying to work shit out.

Also to those I owe collabs and RP replies to, just give me some more time. I should be able to do the rp replies sometime in the next 24 hours since I'm starting to fee a bit better. Collabs are almost done too, just trying to finish up some details/add things to make them look better. One of my first steps in trying to grow is to make things more detailed in my art, even the littlest touches might make something look better. It's not much, but it's a start, yeah?